Forever by the Fire
by NekoNoko
Summary: Restless slumbers by the fire lead Killua into restless thoughts about his best friend -- KilluaGon fluff... first try at this sugary sweet couple -


Forever by the Fire

Killua sighed, leaning his back steadily against the wall of the cave and staring up at the stalactites above him. He wasn't tired, not physically anyway, a day wandering around the forest with Gon wasn't enough to exhaust him. He was, though, mentally tired.

The day had been wonderful. Gon's world was just so different from his own... it was so unusual and spectacular to his eyes. But it wasn't just the sights he'd seen that had taken his breath away... there was more...

Killua sighed again, letting his form slouch against the cave's back, and gazed discreetly at Gon, sleeping peacefully beside him.

'Those words...' his mind mused, 'I've wanted to hear them for so long... but then... why was I so saddened by them?' He almost snorted the answer was so obvious. 'Because he didn't mean them the way I want them to mean...' As that thought echoed through his mind he found himself slouching more and more against the cave, his breathing coming in deeper and deeper as he fought to take charge of his emotions.

"Kil... Killua... "Gon muttered in his near comatose sleep state. It was so sudden that even though it was said in only a whisper it shook Killua to complete attention. He watched Gon evenly for a moment, not responding, before relaxing again.

"Killua... "Gon called out again, his hand somehow finding his best friend's wrist and grasping it loosely. Killua gasped in shock, a small blush dusting his cheeks, as he struggled with what to do. Eventually, he decided to answer.

"Yeah... Gon?" he said in barely a whisper.

There was a pause but Gon's slumbering mind finally seemed to register the answer.

"We'll always be together... right... Killua?"

Killua stared. That was all he could do. His face conveyed all the emotions he felt, and he knew that. That questioned just broke his resolve completely, shattering it to pieces. After a few moments he calmed down, setting his gaze on the fire they'd built to warm them and ward off animals at night, staying completely silent.

"Killua... "Gon spoke again, this time responding to the silence sooner, "We'll always be together... right?"

Again, the ex-assassin's eyes remained trained on the boy, suddenly becoming very uncomfortable in the situation at hand. He jerked his hand away from Gon only to be pulled to the ground beside Gon, his eyes exactly level with his.

'Damn Gon... he's as weird awake as asleep... 'He cursed Gon's abnormal strength, trying to keep his blush down as he found himself near staring at Gon's peaceful face. He gave one more feeble attempt to free himself before accepting his fate.

"... Yeah, Gon... We'll... We'll always be together... "He adverted his eyes as much as he could while still laying on his side on the hard ground. He watched as slowly a shadow of a smile spread across his friend's lips. It was like it was merely an echo of the smile Gon was smiling in some far away land just for him. For some reason, that smile tugged at Killua's heart more then any other he'd ever seen.

"Good... "Gon almost sighed, seeming content with that answer. Again, Killua found himself staring at his best friend's serene face, feeling guilty for the emotions that ran through him.

'He's my best friend... I'm his best friend... Nothing more... Never... 'But, despite those grim thoughts he found himself slowly leaning closer, his gaze unfocused at the current scene and his eyes half closed.

"Good..." Killua whispered back before his lips finally brushed Gon's. It was barely a kiss, really, just his lips fluttering across Gon's, but it sent his world spinning. As he slowly backed away he couldn't even tell how long it had lasted, like time had really stopped for that one brief moment.

Almost like in a trance he lifted his fingers to his own lips, brushing them gently. They felt all tingly... like they were on fire... but... in a good way...

Suddenly, he felt very embarrassed and ashamed and his previous dazed blissful expression turned panicked.

'What did I do?! I... I just kissed Gon! How... I... What... I had no right... He'll... He'll hate me... If he remembers when he wakes... 'He calmed at that thought, all his muscles relaxing, and slipped his wrist out of Gon's now lacking hold.

He tried to relax once a little ways away from Gon, but he shamefully realized that his stomach was a flutter with butterflies... Butterflies... a sensation he's never before felt...

With one half glance at Gon he moved farther across the cave till he was at the edge of the fire's light. There he laid back on the ground, crossing his arms under his head.

Despite all, he couldn't help but feel joyful and proud at what he'd just done, though the feeling of guilt at his actions as well as sadness that Gon would never feel the same still clouded his mind slightly.

'But I can't take it back, and nor do I want to... He'll never know, and I'll never forget, that's how it is...' That was his last thought before he passed into a deep sleep free of all troublesome emotions.

Gon stirred slightly from his sleep, something that didn't happen often. He slowly stood up, his eyes quickly adjusting to the dim light of the flickering fire, and gazed around, his eyes finally falling on Killua's far away form. Then, slowly, he reached his fingers up to his lips. They were tingling... it wasn't a bad feeling, but was it entirely good too? Again, he eyed Killua for a long moment before finally sighing and staring into the fire. It was about to die out.

'Am I relieved... or disappointed that it was all a dream?' He wondered as he poked the dying embers. 'What does it all mean... '

In fact, as Killua of his dreams had leaned forward he'd felt many conflicting emotions... as he usually did, it seemed. But it went deeper then just fear and excitement, though those were both present. There was shyness, nervousness, apprehension, confusion and... joy? Was that possible? He frowned, his eyes completely focused on the fire, as he tried to remember every emotion that had flowed through him.

'Killua's my best friend... he wouldn't kiss me... And I don't want him to kiss me... do I?' The fact that he couldn't find a straight answer confused him further and his frowned deepened.

The fire gave on last small flare of life before fading into smoke, forcing Gon to sigh in defeat and drop the twig he'd been poking at it with. The wind chose that exact moment, though, to waft through the cave opening, bringing with it a chill from the mountains. Despite himself Gon began to shiver. Though the wind could sometimes get cold here, winters were usually warm on Whale Island, and he wasn't that accustomed to icy coldness.

"Killua..." He whispered, wondering if his friend had been awakened by it as well but getting no response. The wind blew again and Gon shivered again. After a few tense moments of thought he crawled over to his friend's form. He found himself suddenly getting choked up, though, as at the site of Killua's peaceful face his mind flashed to the already fading memory of the dream kiss and his lips tingled in reply. Nevertheless, he laid himself by Killua's side, snuggling in tightly and gently resting his head on Killua's chest, already feeling warmth spread through him.

His lips turned up into a small smile as his keen ears picked up on Killua's heartbeat.

'No matter what, we're still friends and we'll always be friends... No matter what, we'll always be together...'

FIN

AN: Well, there ya go! My first HxH ficcy and my first one shot!

Baah... I know this scene is waaaay overdone... but I can't help it... I still remember the first time I saw HxH... was at a anime screening and I'd already missed a lot and this episode was the first I saw... and I was instantly hooked! So it's always had, like, ya know... special meaning to me...

Neway neway, review if you want! I'd love to hear comments! This is also my first Killua/Gon


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